Faith vs. Fear when it comes to COVID-19

Can I be honest with you today?

As my mind shifted to consciousness this morning, my first thought was of this new “normal” we are living right now. My humanity has definitely been at war with my faith. My old normal was so much more comfortable. My old normal was crazy busy but it was predictable. It was understandable. It was “safe”.

My thoughts went to the children of Israel. My eyes are being opened to why they battled with longing for the comforts of Egypt. It was normal. It was comfortable. It was understandable. It was safe! I have always rolled my eyes at them. How could they long for their life of slavery? Why on earth would they want to go back? Well, I can now palm my forehead! 🤦‍♀️ I get it now. The unknown. The uncertainty of their future. It all probably drove them crazy. They were human!

My spirit knows that our norm is no more. Even when the line is flattened, life will never be the same. Why? Because this is bigger than a virus. Every day, as I read what is going on worldwide, when I read what’s going on in our Congress right now. I know there is a force of evil at work that is using COVID-19 to test the waters for an agenda that will lead to prophecies being fulfilled, the rapture taking place (yes, I believe in the rapture of the church), and this world coming to an end as we know it.

Where does that leave me? On a rollercoaster ride of emotions and faith. I have been taught from a small child about prophecies and the end of time, but it has always been something in the far future. I have loved God with my whole being since I was a child. He is my everything! He has kept me through a tumor that almost took my life at 15; tests of faith that ultimately made me stronger; cancer at 27; being told I could not have children; having two miraculous boys; highs and lows of serving Him and living this life; through it all, I have LOVED Him! All of it brings me to this place. This time. This moment when my relationship with Him sustains me. That thought of the book of Revelation being something for the future is no longer. It is very present. Above all this madness. Above all the uncertainty. Above all the trepidation, I MUST BE SAVED!

Life has slowed down. I am cherishing the part of this season of being forced to be still. “Be still, and KNOW that I am God”! Homeschool in the morning. Music lessons in the afternoon. Afternoons and evenings are either spent outside, if the weather permits, or inside, watching something together, playing games, reading a book out loud to each other, talking about every subject under the sun (with my crew, you never know what that might be), promoting laughter and joy much more than fear and sadness. That is what my days look like right now.

Tomorrow is so uncertain that if I allow my mind to dwell on it, I can feel panic arise. So, how am I coping....disconnect from all of the bad reports (social media) and add lots of PRAYER! Reading the Word! Fasting! Prayer!! Saturating my mind with music that lifts HIM high and strengthens my faith.

If you are having a war of faith and flesh, just know you are not alone. If you feel you are not sure if your soul is right with God, let’s talk. I don’t have all the answers but I know the ONE who does. Life is uncertain but my life in HIS hands is safe!