What motivates you?
Recently, I met a man who is quite fit. He was sharing with my husband and I that his wife is really overweight and how it bothers him. He said how she says she is "fat and happy" (her words, not mine so don't shoot me) and doesn't have a desire to change...she says he should simply be happy that she is happy. His concern was not so much about her appearance but that it was detrimental to her health in the long run and he was afraid that in their retirement years she will not be able to enjoy them because her body will be broken down due to the excess weight. Now, before you criticize this man, let me assure you he is the kind that would willingly walk every mile, eat healthy meals(which for the most part he already does), pay any amount of dollar to help her achieve "health"! The husband's question to me was mainly, "what can be done to motivate her to be healthier when she says she is happy as she is?"
On the other hand, I know another couple where the husband constantly criticizes the wife for her being overweight and will not offer to do one thing to encourage her or assist her toward a healthier life. He has no patience or even desire to understand the issues of why she is overweight. She has lived a life under the eye of a critical man with no encouragement and every attempt she has made has been met with an "I told you so" attitude. What motivates this wife to change? Nothing. She is in a lose/lose situation.
As I began to reflect on the first man's concerns and compare them to the second husband's demands, I realized that to truly fight any issue, the motivation really has to come from within. You have to desire change for yourself before you will ever take the first step toward a new you. Personally, my motivation comes from the fact that I am not "happy" when I have a few extra pounds on and, having been fit, love the way that feels. Sure, I want to be desirable to my husband but that is not top priority. I have to like myself first and have learned to set attainable goals for myself so that I don't get discouraged along the way. A few pounds at a time, a 5k before the full marathon, losing 10 lbs in 1-2 months rather than 1-2 weeks....these are all attainable goals that I can strive for and not set myself up for failure. I really don't know what the first husband could say to motivate his wife. The second husband could at least be encouraging! As for me? What motivates me? Well, ME!
What about you?
On the other hand, I know another couple where the husband constantly criticizes the wife for her being overweight and will not offer to do one thing to encourage her or assist her toward a healthier life. He has no patience or even desire to understand the issues of why she is overweight. She has lived a life under the eye of a critical man with no encouragement and every attempt she has made has been met with an "I told you so" attitude. What motivates this wife to change? Nothing. She is in a lose/lose situation.
As I began to reflect on the first man's concerns and compare them to the second husband's demands, I realized that to truly fight any issue, the motivation really has to come from within. You have to desire change for yourself before you will ever take the first step toward a new you. Personally, my motivation comes from the fact that I am not "happy" when I have a few extra pounds on and, having been fit, love the way that feels. Sure, I want to be desirable to my husband but that is not top priority. I have to like myself first and have learned to set attainable goals for myself so that I don't get discouraged along the way. A few pounds at a time, a 5k before the full marathon, losing 10 lbs in 1-2 months rather than 1-2 weeks....these are all attainable goals that I can strive for and not set myself up for failure. I really don't know what the first husband could say to motivate his wife. The second husband could at least be encouraging! As for me? What motivates me? Well, ME!
What about you?
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