Make every moment count!
This past weekend, I was asked to play the organ for a funeral of a child. I had NO IDEA that is was going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was a balmy, sunny Saturday morning and I felt a litte nervous, never having been to this church or met any of the people. As I walked in the front door, I was greeted by someone asking me to sign the book and then was told to go on up to the organ. As I began my trip down the isle, the first thing that struck me was the sight of a shiny, white casket that was way too small. My throat tightened a little but as I neared the front of the church, the sight of a precious little girl struck me and I felt the beginning of a war in my emotions that I would try to supress the rest of the morning. My very breath was taken away....she was too little, it was too soon, this shouldn't be.....all were thoughts that flooded my mind and spirit.
I made my way to the organ, found out the order for the service, and took a seat, waiting. After making a few inquiries, I found out the story. This precious little soul was only 2, almost 3, the SAME age as my own, dear Asher. My heart clinched! She had a fever that spiked to 106, had a seizure and did not survive. SO SUDDEN! SO SENSELESS! SO TRAGIC! I waited to catch a glimpse of the mother and when I finally saw her, with her two little boys clinging to her, staring down stoically at that little treasure, my heart began to crumble. I prayed for her quietly....prayed for strength, prayed for peace, prayed for comfort. The rest of the funeral was going through the motions for me. I played, I smiled, I nodded, I greeted new acquaintances but inside I was a mess. My mind really could not wrap around this sweet mother, father, and 2 brothers seeing their little angel for the last time. A sweet little lady sang one of my old favorites, "Where Could I Go" and I felt that sweet peace that only comes from above. I learned Sunday evening, that this mother openly worshipped the Lord and danced before him in service that night. Where did she find the strength? ONLY GOD!
As I drove home, I couldn't get my mind off of how hard it would be to see my baby for the last time here on earth and how could you find strength to let go? How could you walk away from the grave site and leave your baby in the cold, hard ground? Again, I prayed for that family, for that mother. As I walked through the door, Asher, my sweet 2 1/2 year old, came running and said, "Momma, I hug you!" He threw his arms around my legs and squeezed me tight. Then he said, "Momma, I miss you!" Tears filled my eyes and I picked him up and hugged him so tightly, breathing a prayer of thanks that I could hug him and squeeze him. He quickly squirmed out of my arms and took off. He doesn't normally great me like this but, for this day and this moment, it was perfect!
The whole week prior to this event, God had been dealing with me on making sure I live in the moment. I had read this articlehttp://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/05/07/how-to-miss-a-childhood/. I've always tried but not always succeeded in giving proper attention to my children but this article made me all the more aware that I need to MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT. I only have my children for 18 years (give or take a few). I, by the grace of God, will live to be 80+. For 18 (or more hopefully) years of my life I can give of myself to make sure this two gifts from God have my attention, love and devotion. I want their memories of their childhood to include wonderful, fun-filled DAYS with Mommy and Daddy, not just a few minutes here and there. They ARE more important to me than my iPhone, iPad, book, or movie. My house may not be perfectly clean, my sink isn't always empty, laundry is not always completed but at the end of the day, I want to know that I spent quality time with my family because tomorrow is not guaranteed. When I lie down at night, I feel the most peaceful when I know I made every moment count!
I made my way to the organ, found out the order for the service, and took a seat, waiting. After making a few inquiries, I found out the story. This precious little soul was only 2, almost 3, the SAME age as my own, dear Asher. My heart clinched! She had a fever that spiked to 106, had a seizure and did not survive. SO SUDDEN! SO SENSELESS! SO TRAGIC! I waited to catch a glimpse of the mother and when I finally saw her, with her two little boys clinging to her, staring down stoically at that little treasure, my heart began to crumble. I prayed for her quietly....prayed for strength, prayed for peace, prayed for comfort. The rest of the funeral was going through the motions for me. I played, I smiled, I nodded, I greeted new acquaintances but inside I was a mess. My mind really could not wrap around this sweet mother, father, and 2 brothers seeing their little angel for the last time. A sweet little lady sang one of my old favorites, "Where Could I Go" and I felt that sweet peace that only comes from above. I learned Sunday evening, that this mother openly worshipped the Lord and danced before him in service that night. Where did she find the strength? ONLY GOD!
As I drove home, I couldn't get my mind off of how hard it would be to see my baby for the last time here on earth and how could you find strength to let go? How could you walk away from the grave site and leave your baby in the cold, hard ground? Again, I prayed for that family, for that mother. As I walked through the door, Asher, my sweet 2 1/2 year old, came running and said, "Momma, I hug you!" He threw his arms around my legs and squeezed me tight. Then he said, "Momma, I miss you!" Tears filled my eyes and I picked him up and hugged him so tightly, breathing a prayer of thanks that I could hug him and squeeze him. He quickly squirmed out of my arms and took off. He doesn't normally great me like this but, for this day and this moment, it was perfect!
The whole week prior to this event, God had been dealing with me on making sure I live in the moment. I had read this articlehttp://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/05/07/how-to-miss-a-childhood/. I've always tried but not always succeeded in giving proper attention to my children but this article made me all the more aware that I need to MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT. I only have my children for 18 years (give or take a few). I, by the grace of God, will live to be 80+. For 18 (or more hopefully) years of my life I can give of myself to make sure this two gifts from God have my attention, love and devotion. I want their memories of their childhood to include wonderful, fun-filled DAYS with Mommy and Daddy, not just a few minutes here and there. They ARE more important to me than my iPhone, iPad, book, or movie. My house may not be perfectly clean, my sink isn't always empty, laundry is not always completed but at the end of the day, I want to know that I spent quality time with my family because tomorrow is not guaranteed. When I lie down at night, I feel the most peaceful when I know I made every moment count!
You are going to love blogging. I have been for years now and find it such a great outlet. I know I will enjoy your writings. Kim Fitch AKA Country Girl
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